When it rains, it gives.

I've heard it said that rain is a good thing. It's refreshing and life giving. However, rain in my life has been without ceasing. Flooding has taken over and it's all I can do sometimes to keep the boat I'm paddling in to stay floating. It's seems as if storms and waves have rose against me and the wind and rain beats me down. Yet, there I sit, under my sail, and watch. I watch because I am not afraid. I'm not afraid of death, of pain, of drowning, or of the storm. I don't fear the monsters in the seas or the hurricane's unforgiving eye. I don't fear because I trust the one who allowed the storm to rise. I have faith in the one who created the boat and the sail that keeps me gliding across the raging waters. I have learned in this stormy season that life is not something you can plan for. There is no cure for the battles and storms in life that rise up to kill and destroy you. There is only hope. I have hope. I have faith that I will rise up victorious over my past. I have hope that I will beat cancer or any other medical ailment that stands in my way. I have truth that no matter where I go or what I face I won't do it alone. I have light that even in the darkness I will not be lost. That's the difference between who I was and who I am. Although I am not a finished product, I have evolved. I am stronger and wiser. I realize that sometimes winning the war is not fighting in the battle at all. I sit here, under my sail, and stare out into the storm. I marvel at how the wave sent to destroy me only brings me joy because of the feeling of adventure it brings when the waves crash a little too close. I look at the storm clouds and marvel at how no matter the thickness of the grey clouds, the sun always finds a way to shine through. I smile at the wind blowing my soaking hair until its dry and giggle when it poofs from the humidity. Thankful I have hair at all. I look into the storm and I see its magnitude and I am thankful that He is bigger than all of it. The thunder rumbles through me like a lion and the lightning flashes like the clanging of two swords and I imagine the fight occurring for my very life. I think back to a time in my life when I would paddle so hard only to go no where. I would constantly be afraid and angry at the circumstances. I would feel so alone in the middle of the ocean and contemplate jumping into the mouth of the shark to end it all. I was hopeless, lost, alone, afraid, and angry. I was shaken from the water and wind. I was focused on doing it alone. I know now that I am human, but I am a warrior. I am never alone. This warrior does not intend to drown. As I near the eye of the storm, I stand. Peacefully, I tighten down my sail and I press onward. My eyes determined, my sword in hand, my smile genuine. I'm ready to fight. Onward I go.